Skywarp Gets His
by SadaraLochlan
Summary: This time the prank is on Skywarp as Megatron and Starscream leave him in command of the Decepticons while they tackle some issues on Cybertron.


Thundercracker and Skywarp sank back in their chairs and watched the other Decepticons file out of the briefing room. Megatron's penchant for "attacking at sunrise" meant that tomorrow morning would feature an early wake-up from recharge.

_It also precludes the possibility of getting drunk, too, _he thought grumpily.

To be perfectly honest, he had become comfortable in his chair and was feeling a bit lazy about getting up until Thundercracker nudged him with an elbow and gestured with his head towards Megatron and Starscream. They were standing at the end of the rectangular table with their arms crossed, obviously impatient to begin a private conversation.

_Beh, _Skywarp thought and rose from his chair. Feeling ornery, he stretched languidly, taking as much time as he dared. Out of the corner of his optics, Skywarp saw Thundercracker's face take on a faraway look. He'd be willing to bet quite a few energon cubes that TC was praying.

"Um… Skywarp?"

"Yo."

"Megatron's fusion cannon arm is twitching…"

"Oh, relax."

Thundercracker placed a hand on Skywarp's shoulder. "I'll wait for your spare parts outside."

Skywarp watched TC hurry through the automatic door. It swooshed shut behind his wingmate, which occurred about the same time that an incessant tapping of someone's boot on the floorplates began.

_Looks like I've worn out my welcome. Time to jet._

Skywarp teleported out of the briefing room an instant ahead of a null ray blast.

***

"Primus, Skywarp drives me crazy sometimes!" Starscream lowered his arm, his weapon still smoking.

Megatron smirked. "Yes, I know the feeling. You know he only does that to see what kind of response he will get. Why do you indulge him by reacting so violently?"

Starscream seemed taken aback by the question. "I don't know. I guess I just reacted without thinking about it first."

Nodding in understanding, Megatron began collecting his datapads. "If you want to be an effective leader, you will want to learn how to curb that tendency a bit more. A leader is most vulnerable to his enemy when his emotions already rule him. I also have much work to do in that area," he said wryly.

Starscream pondered Megatron's words for a moment. Slowly, a predatory grin spread across his faceplate. Megatron looked up and wished he hadn't. The look on Starscream's face was pure evil.

"I don't even want to know what you're thinking, Starscream."

Starscream ignored him. "Let's give Skywarp a taste of his own fuel for once!"

Megatron stared at Starscream, incredulously.

"That's absurd, Starscream."

Starscream rolled his optics.

"No, it isn't. Look when we go to Cybertron tomorrow, we'll take Soundwave with us, and instead of staying for a few hours, we'll act as if the space bridge is busted from Cybertron and that we won't be able to return for a week or something."

Megatron grinned evilly, knowing where Starscream was headed with this. "And then he'll be left in charge of the Decepticons on Earth for at least a week."

Nodding enthusiastically, Starscream pressed on. "And you know how much Skywarp hates responsibility. All those late night reports, no drinking, less recharge…"

They laughed maniacally as they exited the briefing room.

***

_This has to be a joke, _Skywarp thought. _There is no way that Megatron would ever leave a lazy aft prankster like me in charge if there was something important to do. Thundercracker is a better choice for the serious stuff. We'll just play this game out and see if I can turn it to my advantage._

"Yo, TC! Get the bunch together in the briefing room. I just got a message from Megatron. Supposedly the space bridge is busted and it will be a week before Shockwave can have it functioning again."

Thundercracker stared at Skywarp, disbelieving. "You're joking, right? With you in charge, this place will be a circus by tomorrow."

"Yeah, no shit, dumbaft! Just take care of it, okay? I want to get this over with, so I can move on to all those slaggin' reports that Megs and Screamer normally get."

TC left the control center and Skywarp launched an empty energon cube at the wall.

"Bastards!" he muttered under his breath.

***

Skywarp desperately wished there was a way that he didn't have to tell the rest of the 'cons that he was in charge for a week. He knew that the place would descend into total anarchy as soon as he made the announcement. It wasn't that Skywarp wasn't feared, liked, or respected. It was that everyone knew him as a laid back, prankster type. Hence, they would immediately assume that they had wider boundaries with Skywarp than with Megatron and Starscream. Skywarp wasn't sure that he could control the others and keep them from trashing the place if they decided to "push the outer envelope."

Skywarp stood outside the briefing room door, hesitation holding him back. Thundercracker joined him and put his hand on 'Warp's shoulder. "You'll do fine. Now, let's get this over with."

Skywarp took Megatron's chair at the end of the rectangular table and TC sat down next to him in what was usually Starscream's chair. Snickering emerged from the silence, which prompted smiles from the other 'cons.

_Oh Primus, it's started already, _Skywarp groaned. _First on my to do list- Slag Frenzy._

"Go on. Get it all out now," he said with resignation. He understood that they were all in unfamiliar territory and that there would be some excess energy to burn off because of it.

Everyone in the briefing room erupted in giggles. Especially Rumble, Frenzy, and the Insecticons.

Shrapnel seemed a bit bewildered, though. "Skywarp in charge? Megatron is whack, whack."

Skywarp smiled sweetly at Shrapnel. "Oh, the whackshit hasn't even started yet," he grinned, menacingly. "Anyway, I've called this little gathering to let you fruitcakes know that the space bridge is busted on Cybertron and that per Megatron's orders I will be in charge until he is able to return."

"Well, that's a little vague, Skywarp!" Rumble pointed out.

"Okay, what it means for **you** is that I'm in charge for at least a week, you little pipsqueak, and daddy ain't here to save you or your sawed off little brother."

Rumble held up his hands defensively.

Frenzy, being more aggressive than Rumble stood up on his chair. "Hey, who the hell are you callin' sawed off?!"

"Okay, knock it off you two!" TC gestured for Frenzy to sit back down.

Skywarp motioned for everyone to remain silent. "For right now our orders are to refrain from trashing the place in Megatron's absence. Think we can handle that?"

There was some nodding and a few sarcastic mutterings of "Oh yeah, of course."

"Okay then, dismissed."

After all the Decepticons filed out, Skywarp sank back in his chair and stared at the wall.

"Yeah fraggin' right!"

_Now to plan how I'm going to get back Megs and Screamer for leaving me in charge._

***

It was nearing midnight when Skywarp finally finished the day's reports. For the life of him, he couldn't figure out how Megatron and Starscream had put up with these tedious little details for all these millions of years. Skywarp and Thundercracker spoke at length about how the following week should proceed in Megatron's absence. So far no one had attempted anything dramatic, though Rumble and Frenzy had turned their music up a bit too loud for the Constructicons comfort. Skywarp found himself faced with a difficult decision and he wasn't sure of the best solution yet. He leaned back in his chair and put his boots up on the console. The control center was empty at this time of night and the silence afforded Skywarp some time to consider his options. Megatron's absence provided the perfect opportunity to allow the other 'cons to blow off some steam. The problem was would Skywarp be able to regain control of them in time to finish all their regular work before Megatron returned? That was the gamble. The other aspect of this whole thing was that Skywarp was already backtracking. Being known as a prankster and never really having command of the 'cons weakened his credibility as a leader. If Skywarp let them do nothing but play the other 'cons might never respect him as a leader.

Picking up his half empty energon cube, he stared into it as if willing it to produce the correct decision for him. The soft swoosh of the doors opening interrupted his reverie. Skywarp knew it was Thundercracker, coming up to find out why he had not retired for the night. Thundercracker lowered himself into the seat next to Skywarp, but Skywarp continued to stare pensively at the pink liquid swirling around inside the cube.

"You gonna stay up here all night?"

Skywarp shook his head slightly. "Nah, I will be along shortly. I'm just trying to decide what to do with the 'cons."

Thundercracker leaned back, knowing that it would probably be a while before Skywarp could be persuaded to return to his quarters.

"Well, what about giving everyone a few days off and then the last five days everyone has to knuckle down and work."

Skywarp looked at Thundercracker with a puzzled expression. "I thought it was work, then play."

Thundercracker chuckled and shook his head. "Not with your parties. You would need time to clean up before Megatron returns. And if the damage is so great that it can't be repaired in five days, well, you can always bust the space bridge from this end to buy yourself some more time," he laughed.

Skywarp sat bolt upright, the energon sloshing in the cube. A devilish smile spread across his features, sending chills through Thundercracker's circ fluid.

_Oh, not that look! Please Primus, not __**that **__look! _

"Um…Skywarp. That was a joke. I was not serious that you bust the space bridge before Megatron comes back."

Skywarp knocked back the rest of his energon and tossed the energon cube into the disposal unit.

"But TC, it's brilliant! It's perfect. A week to relax and a week to clean up and finish the work."

Thundercracker looked at the floor, uncomfortably.

_Dear Primus, I've just created a monster…_

Erm, I don't know, Skywarp. If Megatron finds out you did something like that on purpose, you've had it."

Skywarp clapped Thundercracker on the shoulder as they headed for their quarters.

"Oh, lighten up, TC! It'll work out, just watch…"

***

Skywarp awoke from recharge feeling much more rested that he thought he would be. Thundercracker's idea had provided Skywarp with a safety net. He may yet pull off this leadership thing without sacrificing too much of his laid back personality. It was at the morning meeting that Skywarp informed the other 'cons that they were allowed to have a party and could spend a few days preparing for it. The condition was that everyone had to be willing to assist in the cleanup and repairs of the base long before Megatron arrived. Naturally, the response was enthusiastic.

_We'll see how enthusiastic they are when it's time to clean up after our little mess, _he thought.

On Cybertron, Megatron, Starscream, and Soundwave were left trying to find busy work. They had long since accomplished what they had set out to do, but Megatron was sufficiently intrigued about the results of leaving Skywarp in charge for a week. Hence, they would be staying on Cybertron for longer than necessary. It was the mess that would be no doubt be awaiting him upon his return that Megatron was going to be aggravated about more than anything. Megatron was mainly looking for something to take his mind off of the atrocities that were no doubt occurring back at base on Earth. And he hated just waiting around.

Starscream entered the command center and joined Megatron.

"Wondering what's happening back at base, I take it?"

Megatron looked up. "No doubt Skywarp has trashed the entire base by now. All I can say is he'd better have it cleaned up by the time we return."

Starscream chuckled. "You should see his quarters. It would make even the Junkions envious."

"Dear Primus," Megatron groaned. "I'm starting to have second thoughts about this idea of yours."

The mood around headquarters had definitely lightened up some since Skywarp took charge. The party was only a few hours away and it was expected to last well into the following morning. Skywarp peeked inside the room. One of the large but empty storage rooms had been set up for the party, though Rumble and Frenzy were still adding some last minute things. A large table was set up in the corner, covered by a purple table cloth. The table was laden with stacks of energon cubes, and the scent of energon wafted through the room tempting Skywarp to drink before the party even got started. Next to the energon table was another table, adorned the same way as the first, except this one had chopped down and half eaten redwoods and assorted other trees.

_WTF? Oh yeah, the Insecticons, dummy!_

It certainly looked like everything was ready. The stage was set up and the dance floor laid out. Skywarp burst out laughing when Frenzy started testing the mic out with his little munchkin voice. Frenzy cleared his throat and with relish, whistled into the mic. Skywarp jumped and teleported out.

_Twerp!_

_***_

About three hours later, the party was in full swing. Skywarp had downed a cube and a half already and was vaguely wondering how on Cybertron he was going to explain the energon shortage to Megatron.

_May have to make an impromptu raid on a power plant or something before he gets back._ He looked down into his half empty energon cube. _A few more of these and Megatron will become a non issue for a while. Yeah, that's a good idea._

He downed the last half of his second cube and headed back to the table to snag a third one. He noted, a bit fuzzily, that the Insecticons had already finished off their redwoods, and were standing off to the side of the dance floor with energon cubes, basically laughing at everyone else.

Thundercracker tagged along next to Skywarp, still polishing off his first cube.

"You better go easy on those, TC. I don't want to have to drag you back to your quarters," Skywarp mumbled sarcastically.

After the fourth cube, events became more than a little fuzzy. Surreal was a better term. Skywarp wasn't entirely certain that the events of that night weren't a figment of his imagination. Drunk or not, the Constructicons involved in karaoke was just a bit farfetched. He also could have sworn he saw Dragstrip and Wildrider transform and begin racing through the corridors. Seeing double of everything, they naturally couldn't steer straight and crashed into the walls on more than one occasion. The stack of energon cubes seemed to be growing rather than diminishing. But by far, the most spectacular and disturbing occurrence was Onslaught trying to swat the Insecticons with an over sized fly swatter.

Skywarp staggered over the bodies of those who had already passed out from too much energon. His ultimate destination was back to the table where the energon cubes were stacked. There weren't many left, but Skywarp was certain he wouldn't be able to hold more than one or two more. Tilting his head back, he emptied the cube and tossed it to the floor. Grabbing another one, he began weaving his way back the way he came. About halfway back, that last energon cube kicked in and all Skywarp could think of before crashing to the floor was "bottoms up."

***

Skywarp groaned and rolled over on his back. "Rumble, knock it off!" That came out more weakly than he would have liked. Bringing his optics online, Skywarp realized that Rumble was not using his pile drivers on his head. In fact, Rumble was slumped over an empty energon cube a few feet away.

_Shit. Hungover again. I need to get the Constructicons up or we're all going to be feeling like garbage for the rest of the day. And I need to get accountability of the 'cons ASAP. No wonder Megatron doesn't party. I can only imagine what dealing with these clowns is going to be like with a hangover…_

Not trusting himself to walk on two legs, Skywarp crawled across the room, trying to locate a Constructicon amidst the bodies. He considered activating the lights, but that would just make things more painful for the others when they finally came to.

_Now where did I last see one of the Constructicons? They were by the stage when I finally passed out…_

Skywarp headed in the general direction. There was just enough light to make out objects, but there was no way to discern the other 'cons until he was within a few feet of them. His little journey through the party room was not without obstacles, though. Energon cubes, both empty and half drunk littered the floor, as well as some of the streamers that had come down mid-party. Skywarp was more disturbed by the stickiness of the floor. Apparently, some energon cubes had been spilled. Skywarp really didn't want to consider what else it might be.

_Hey, I think I've found TC!_

Skywarp nudged the other seeker's arm.

"Pssst! TC, get up! It's me, Skywarp."

"Not now, 'Warp. My head hurts," he grumbled, rolling over.

Skywarp exhaled. "Teece, we need to find the Constructicons or else we'll all feel like slag all day."

"Okay, okay."

Thundercracker began moving off in the other direction and after a few moments waved Skywarp to join him.

"I think I've found Long Haul."

"Hey, Long Haul, rise and shine. Time to get this show on the road."

Long Haul sat up and looked at Thundercracker, trying to focus.

Thundercracker spoke softly so as not to aggravate everyone's headaches.

"We need to get the rest of the Constructicons up and down to repair bay. It's time for some of that magic potion."

Long Haul made a face. "And I suppose you want me to haul your afts down there myself," he said sarcastically.

Skywarp and Thundercracker looked at each other and grinned.

Long Haul grumbled to himself as he moved off to collect the other Constructicons.

***

Down in repair bay, the Constructicons finished up giving each other painkillers. Skywarp and Thundercracker had just departed having received theirs, and they were off to inspect the damage from last night's escapades and to account for the rest of the 'cons, some of whom were finally starting to wake up.

_Oh bloody hell, _Skywarp cursed inwardly. _It wasn't a dream._

He and Thundercracker could only stare in mute horror at the tire tracks and scorch marks that tracked up and down the corridors and in some instances, even the walls.

_But where is Wildrider and Dragstrip?_

Thundercracker turned a corner. "Um…Skywarp?"

Noting the dread in Thundercracker's voice, Skywarp was certain he was not going to like what he was about to see.

Skywarp whistled in astonishment. "Nighty night!"

Wildrider was still in vehicle mode and his front end was embedded in the wall he apparently had a head on collision with.

Thundercracker gave Skywarp a gentle push. "Come on, we'd better get the 'cons up and get this place put back together before Megatron shows up or else you'll be the one saying "nighty night."

They ended up having to summon the Constructicons to retrieve Wildrider from the wall, while they continued their search for the rest of the 'cons.

Most areas of the base survived the party with nary a scratch. The places most affected by the party goers were mercifully in the general vicinity of the party room, though the party room and the outside corridors were virtually unrecognizable. Clean up and repairs would take a few days there. Especially since the wall where Wildrider had crashed needed to be rebuilt. The Constructicons were none too pleased with that particular side effect of last night's revelry. What was puzzling Skywarp and Thundercracker was the fact that no one had seen Dragstrip since the festivities and there was only one area of the base they hadn't searched yet.

Suddenly, Skywarp froze in midstride, paralyzed with horror as the unwelcome realization sank in. "Oh shit, Teece!"

Thundercracker stared into Skywarp's optics and he _knew_ what Skywarp was thinking.

"He couldn't have…"

Skywarp took off, sprinting for the lift. "Come on!"

_If Dragstrip is where I think he is, I am soooo slagged._

_***_

The dents in the lift walls told Skywarp that there had definitely been rough housing of some sort in it during the night. The lift deposited them on one of the upper levels. Megatron's, Starscream's, and Soundwave's quarters were on this level and the corridor as scarred with fresh scorch marks. Skywarp felt his fuel pump twist.

_This is not good. This is definitely not good. _

"But where is Dragstrip?" Thundercracker looked around, but had no clue where he went. That is until he went farther down the hall.

"I think he's in Screamer's quarters, 'Warp."

Skywarp looked confused and started walking towards Thundercracker. "But how would he get past the locking mechanism?"

As he got closer, the dim light finally revealed the damaged locking mechanism. "Dragstrip crashed into it, huh? Well, that's just slaggin' fantastic," he mumbled sarcastically.

"Well, let's go get him out of there." Stepping over the debris that used to be the door to Starscream's quarters, Skywarp and Thundercracker found Dragstrip crashed out on Starscream's couch. Starscream's quarters were pretty trashed as a result of Dragstrip's reckless entrance. Datapads were scattered all over the floor and the weapons that Starscream normally had mounted on his walls had fallen. The table in the corner had been tipped on it's side, the fragile items that had been on top of it had been thrown to the floor and shattered.

Skywarp surveyed the damage, coming to the very swift conclusion that he was a dead mech. Starscream was an absolute neat freak and would come unhinged if he were to see his quarters in such a condition. And Skywarp really didn't want to spend too much time pondering Starscream's reaction to another Decepticon running amok in his quarters.

Skywarp looked at Thundercracker with a helpless expression.

"You know, perhaps busting the space bridge isn't a bad idea after all."

Skywarp glared at him, then pointed at Dragstrip.

"Let's get NASCAR over here down to repair bay, and then we need to get this place cleaned up."

***

Mercifully, with the Constructicons help, Starscream's quarters were restored to their usual, pristine condition. The items that had been broken were, thankfully, easy to replace. Though, Skywarp had a sneaking suspicion that they would be found out anyway. Skywarp had no idea what order those datapads were in, and if they were out of order, Starscream would notice.

Clean up efforts went well and proceeded a bit faster than anticipated, even with the fiasco in Starscream's quarters. The wall near the party room would be rebuilt by the Constructicons the following day. Only a couple of issues remained. That of the energon shortage due to overindulging, and whether or not Skywarp wanted to bust the space bridge just to give the other 'cons some more time off. Both of these issues involved acting without Megatron's authority, and that was what unnerved Skywarp more than anything. He was used to following orders, not issuing them.

_Eh, what the hell. Let's do it._

The next afternoon, Skywarp, Thundercracker, and the Coneheads performed a quick hit and run raid on a nearby power plant. The fact that they _weren't _attacking at sunrise seemed sufficient to catch the Autobots unaware and the 'cons were able to get away with the cubes before the Autobots arrived.

Back at HQ, the 'cons were loading the energon cubes in their storage area.

"Good, enough to make up for what we drank last night and a little more," he said proudly and turned to the rest of the 'cons. "Okay, you clowns can go do whatever. Just don't tear up the place."

Skywarp and Thundercracker waited patiently for a few moments for the crowd to disperse, then Skywarp clapped Thundercracker on the shoulder.

"Let's grab a cube and chat," he said, handing an energon cube to Thundercracker and taking one for himself.

They headed off to the briefing room so they could talk without being interrupted.

Thundercracker settled down into one of the chairs and looked up at Skywarp.

"So what's on your mind?"

Skywarp leaned back against the table.

"Whether I bust the space bridge and give the 'cons another week off or let Megatron come home on time."

Thundercracker sat thinking for a moment, considering the options and consequences.

"If you bust the space bridge on purpose and Megatron finds out about it, he may never trust you with the 'cons again. That may rob you of the possibility of being able to give the other 'cons some more time off and big parties in the future. Also, Megatron may view that action as treachery rather than as a practical joke. I'm not sure that you want to be labeled as being another Starscream."

Smirking, Skywarp gently cuffed Thundercracker over the head. "Spoilsport. Okay, you win. So we'd better get to all those reports we've been neglecting for the last several days."

Thundercracker groaned. "You know, on the other hand, busting the space bridge might be a viable option after all…"

A few days later, Megatron returned to find everything in order, or at least it appeared that way at first glance. Skywarp noticed Megatron looking around suspiciously.

"Skywarp, I'm impressed. You've managed to keep the Decepticons from destroying the base."

Skywarp drew himself up proudly.

"I'll just bet," Starscream said sarcastically.

Megatron turned to Starscream. "Starscream, set up a meeting for all Decepticons at 1900 hours."

"As you command, Megatron."

_Whew, that was close. Maybe life will return to normal now._

"Yeah, right."

***

At 1900 hours, the Decepticons all filed into the briefing room and took their seats. Skywarp was a little surprised to see that an energon cube was placed before each chair. Megatron rarely allowed such treats if the meeting was going to be less than an hour, so Skywarp was pretty sure that something whack was about to go down.

"Hey boss, what are we doing," Rumble called out.

Megatron motioned for Soundwave to start the recording. "We're going to watch a movie," he said with more enthusiasm and amusement than Skywarp was comfortable with. "This should prove quite entertaining, wouldn't you agree, Starscream?"

The viewscreen came to life with a sequence of pics of Skywarp and the title, "Skywarp Gets His." There was a loud thud as Skywarp's head connected with the table.

_I forgot to wipe the fraggin' cameras!!!_

There was a thunderous applause as the Skywarp's first briefing played, but Skywarp still couldn't look. Megatron, for his part, was thoroughly amused and was enjoying Skywarp's mortification.

Finally, the party scenes rolled around and everyone turned to look at Megatron and Starscream who were staring at the viewscreen, jaws dropped in stunned disbelief. Everyone winced as the screeching of tires inevitable culminated in a loud crash. Frenzy and Rumble fell out of their seats laughing. There were a few comments of "Ouch Wildrider, that hurt _**me**_ just watching it."

He's stuck in the wall, wall," said Shrapnel.

Their attention was diverted from Wildrider when Kickback flew across the screen with Onslaught chasing after him with a giant fly swatter.

"That's wrong, wrong."

Bombshell picked up his energon cube. "Eh, he was drunk. How could a sober mech miss with that thing?" More laughter.

Skywarp was still not watching and in fact, was now covering his audios with his hands.

Finally, the long anticipated morning after scenes. The cameras panned across all rooms of the silent base, capturing the floors littered with the bodies of the hungover. A bubble of sadistic glee rose in Megatron, finally getting to see the self inflicted pain and suffering of his soldiers.

"Hey, look at Rumble!" Everyone craned their necks to see where Astrotrain had pointed out Rumble slumped face down inside an empty energon cube, then exploded with laughter.

The most amusing part was watching Skywarp wake up and crawling through the party room, bumping into others and knocking stuff over.

After a while, the recording took them up to Starscream's quarters and showed how Dragstrip had wrecked them. Starscream's mood shifted dramatically, but the other 'cons were taunting Dragstrip.

"Ooohhh, umbers, Dragstrip, I'm telling," teased Blitzwing.

Megatron leaned back in his chair, kicked his feet up, and with a self satisfied smirk, tilted his head back and finished his energon cube. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that Starscream was clenching and unclenching his fists, a sure sign that he was swiftly losing his temper. Finally, Starscream came unglued.

"You are sooo slagged, Skywarp," he yelled, aiming his weapon.

Skywarp looked up and grinned. "Oh yeah? You gotta catch me first! Ta!" And Skywarp teleported out.

Megatron smiled innocently at Starscream, who was still simmering.

"You were right, Starscream, your plan did work! Now who wants to see the pictures of the party that Reflector took…?"

The End.


End file.
